When someone asks me, “can I pick your brain,” what I hear is, “will you work for me, for free?” No. I won’t, and you shouldn’t either. Sure, a quick chat with a colleague is one thing, but real time spent discussing real strategies… that’s a slippery slope.
While sharing ideas is one thing, using someone’s expertise without paying them is unfair at best. And sometimes it seems like a strategy. I’ve seen – and been used to – consultants pretty much design entire strategies for colleagues, only to have that strategy executed on by someone else. They basically “shared” themselves out of a good paying gig. When I’ve asked why it happened, I get two answers, on “opposing sides.” 1) I’m too nice. 2) They gave it to me, so why would I pay for it?
I was starting to feel a bit bitchy about this, when suddenly it was coming up in conversation, from lots of angles, with lots of people. I think we need to talk about the fine line between helping each other out, and using each other.
1. Know Who You’re Asking, and Why
Generally, the people who’s brains we want to pick fall into two categories: 1) Our target market and 2) Experts with a skill that we need to launch, but can’t afford to pay for.
1) If you are creating a product, and have friends who are your target market, it’s generally a GREAT idea to pick their brains. They will have insight into, and a vested interest in, your product, but no professional reason to expect compensation for a one-time brainstorming session.
2) If you are seeking professional expertise in something like marketing, PR, branding, design, etc…. Because you know you need it and don’t have anyone on your team to do it, that’s where things get sticky. You are now asking someone to do their work for you, for free. And that is risky business.
2. If It Has Value, You Should Pay For It
The reason you are asking someone for their opinion is because you value it. If you value it, you should be willing to pay for it. They have something you want, why would you expect them to just give it to you? If you are dealing with a tiny startup budget, then be honest and open about that up front. If you can’t pay their consulting fee, offer them goods, services, stock – anything that lets them know that you know their expertise has value. Amongst other things, this helps to avoid the “scope creep” that seems to often accompany acts of pure “good will.”
3. Set Clear Boundaries
It is the responsibility of both parties to be clear about what is happening. Generally speaking, I will now say that I’m happy to have a quick chat – usually 30 minutes or so – to help them frame their thought process. However, I will now ask if this is just friendly guidance or if this has the potential to turn into paying work.
I have seen too many people string consultants along with the “we really don’t know what we need” line of reasoning, and the vague assertion that there may or may not be a place for them in the future, when….. The consultant then helps them narrow their vision, build a plan and define their needs. That, plain and simple, is work. It is the job of someone on your team, and it should be paid for – even if it is a consultant whose brain you are picking to figure out what you need and want. Anything else is unethical. Period.
4. Know Who Your Friends Are
That said, know who your friends are. I would do anything for my friends. What is a friend? Well, in my case, if you’ve seen me drunk, discussed my sex life, known me through more than one “epiphany” and change in my life, you are my friend. Ask me anything you want, I’m happy to spend my time and energy helping you, because I know you will do the same for me. We can and should do anything we can for our friends.
Acquaintances? That’s a little fuzzier, but most of them probably merit a cup of coffee or 30 minute phone call too.
Strangers? Personally, I’m getting Draconian here. If you ask the right way, I’m up for a phone call while I’m driving. If you really just want to pick my brain, with no future paying engagement, I’ll talk to you on the phone. If you want talk about potentially working together, say so, and we’ll meet in person.
I think that part of the problem is that “brain power” is not as easily quantifiable as when we purchase a design, a concrete product, pay a lawyer to navigate the legal system or a doctor to perform a surgery. We are all smart here, so how do we value the simple sharing of “smarts?”
Look, I’m sure it sounds bitchy, but I’ve watched people get really used here. I’ve watched the founders of startups lead potential C Level execs on for months in order to get as much insight from them as possible without paying or committing. I’ve seen talented consultants bled dry by brain-pickers who didn’t think they should have to pay for expertise.
This does not foster a healthy and vibrant startup community. It does the opposite actually, it fosters exhaustion and resentment, and makes people want to shut up rather than share.
If we value each other as much as we say we do, we will put our money where our mouths are. We will build brilliant businesses and a vibrant community one fairly-compensated brain picking session at a time. While still continuing to drink with and support our friends.
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Alyssa Royse is launching her next company in a couple weeks, and is more in love with the Seattle startup community than ever before. However, in the spirit of the new company, she is practicing safe-brain-picking and expressing clear boundaries so that both parties can be mutually satisfied by what they create when they come together.
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